December 18, 2011

5 Stages of Committed Relationships

Have you ever wondered: Why is our connection so hard? Things were so excellent when we first met - what happened? Most likely, the answer is that you've left the first stage of your relationship, and have moved into another. But could it categorically be that easy?

Yes! Most citizen understand that relationships grow and convert over time... But what many citizen don't know is that they tend to evolve in the same way. There are specific, defined stages of long-term relationships, which offer new feelings, new challenges to overcome, and new opportunities for growth. And if you want your connection to evolve into one of mutual respect, love and intimacy, it's likely that you'll have to palpate all of the following connection stages at some point or another. Take a look at the description of each phase - do any of this sound familiar?

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Before we get started, you should know that most citizen palpate these stages in this order, and will need to determine the challenges in each stage before they can move successfully on to the next. Of policy there are always exceptions to this rule. But for the most part, you can't get out of experiencing all of these stages if you want a salutary and fulfilling relationship. Every concentrate will move through these stages at distinct speeds, and most citizen will palpate each stage more than once - it is base to fluctuate from one stage to another.*

Okay, now that I've given you the basic info, let's dig a tiny deeper....

Stage 1 - The Romance Stage

This is also known as the Courtship Phase or the Fantasy Stage, and can last anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. This is when you and your partner have just met, and all is categorically amazing. You can't get sufficient of each other. Neither of you can do any wrong in the eyes of the other... In general because you're both still on your best behavior. The focus in this stage is on commonalities - you have so many base interests, you could approximately be the same person! You show your partner your absolute best self, and you try to please each other as much as possible. disagreement is seen as "bad" in this stage, and is avoided at all costs. You can't fantasize living without this person, so you begin spending as much time together as possible. This is the stage when our defenses are down the most, which allows you to be open to and fall in love. You and your partner are construction an foremost foundation in this stage, so your connection can grow. There are biological effects as well. When you're in this stage, your body is producing great amounts of endorphins, which makes you feel unusually happy, obvious and excited about all in your life (this is that "head over heels in love" feeling!). This is the stage most often portrayed in movies and romantic novels, for obvious reasons. bottom line - you are happier than you've ever been, and can't fantasize ever feeling any differently.

Stage 2 - The Disillusionment Stage

This stage is also known as the Familiarization Stage, or the Adjusting to Reality Phase. This is where you begin to comprehend that your partner is categorically a human being (horror of horrors!). You get to know each other more and more, and as a corollary you start recognizing their assorted flaws and shortcomings. You see your partner in relaxed situations, and you come to be more relaxed as well. Since your body cannot perhaps continue to furnish the same levels of endorphins that it was in the beginning, those feelings of being on top of the world start to decline. Your partner's tiny habits aren't quite as cute as they used to be, but there is still sufficient goodwill from the Romance Stage that you're willing to overlook them. This stage can start to trickle into your connection slowly, as you begin to see your partner for who s/he categorically is. Or sometimes it happens all of a sudden, when there has been some sort of dishonesty or deceit. This phase can be confusing and discouraging, since you've just experienced so much openness and connection in the Romance Stage. However, at this stage, your main job is to learn how to narrate and determine disagreement with this person effectively, which is an foremost skill if you want your connection to continue.

Stage 3 - The Power Struggle Stage

This stage is also known as the disappointment Phase or Distress Stage. As the characteristics from the Disillusionment Phase intensify, they come to be harder and harder to deal with. You will most likely begin to pull away from each other in this stage. At this point, you both still believe that disagreement is a "bad" thing, but you are increasingly aware of your many differences. You fight to draw boundaries in the relationship, and as a corollary even small annoyances come to be big issues. This is the stage where you define unacceptable behavior, and most couples have occasional or frequent thoughts of leaving the relationship. More and more often, you start to feel like your partner is self-centered or un-caring, or even worse, that they plainly can't be trusted. Deep resentments begin to build if you're unable to determine your issues in a respectful and mutually agreeable way. Many couples get stuck in this stage, because this way of interacting becomes general in their relationship. This is when it is categorically needful to learn to manage your differences effectively - to narrate and work together as a team, even though it's tempting to believe that your partner's sole purpose on Earth is to make your life difficult. Not surprisingly, this is the stage most couples are in when they determine to break up or file for divorce. However, if they are able to negotiate all of the landmines during this phase, they'll move on to....

Stage 4 - The Stability Stage

This is a restful and peaceful time, compared to the last stage. This stage is also known as the Friendship Phase or Reconciliation Stage. Some couples never make it to this stage, but the ones who do find that they have deeper feelings of love, connection and trust with their partner. You now have history together, and most citizen begin to rely on the predictability of the relationship. As you enter this stage, you begin to comprehend that your partner isn't perfect, but your personal differences aren't quite as threatening as they used to be. You're able to determine most of your differences, at least to some extent, and you come to be more obvious in the relationship. Some citizen feel a sense of loss in this stage as they learn to accept their partner for who they truly are, since this means they have to let go of the fantasy that was established early on in the relationship. But for the most part, the deepening sense of friendship and commitment is a good trade-off for those early feelings of butterflies and excitement. This is also when you begin to re-establish your own exterior interests and friendships, which were given up in the Romance Phase. There is some danger that you may begin to drift apart from or come to be bored with your partner in this phase, so you should try to declare the connection that was created in the Romance Phase. Overall, this is the stage when you ultimately begin to feel comfortable and happy with your deepening relationship.

Stage 5 - The Commitment Stage

This stage is also known as the Acceptance Phase, the Transformation Stage, or the Real Love Phase. It is estimated that fewer than 5% of couples categorically make it to this stage, according to The connection Institute. This is the stage when both couples have a clear conception of who their partner is, faults, foibles and weaknesses galore... Yet they make a aware selection to be with this person in spite of all of those things (and in some cases, because of those things). You are no longer with your partner because you need them, but because you've chosen them, which means the level of resentment you felt in the Power Struggle Phase has decreased, if not disappeared. If you've made it to this stage, you and your partner are a team. You categorically love your partner, and you look out for their best interests just as much as you look out for your own. Your partner is your best friend. There are few surprises about your partner's habits or character in this phase. You've collaborated to overcome many challenges together, and have grown to accept and retain each other without restriction. Your vision for your connection is in congruence with who you are and what you both truly want. You have discussed your hereafter together - you have similar life goals, and you feel encouraged to define your connection further. Many couples determine to make a formal or communal commitment to each other in this stage (such as marriage) to demonstrate their intention to continue their relationship. This is the stage in which your connection becomes a true partnership.

5 Stages of Committed Relationships

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